Then it happened
At first, it was a side dream. I used to think of it only as a mere possibility and when it came, for a long time, I didn’t know what do on it.
When I read Teju Cole’s letters to a young writer, I wished to own a medium where I can express myself and learn what people love to read. Facebook pages come as the cheapest and easiest to manage.
Then in October 2018, an anonymous person paid for half the amount it will cost me to buy this domain name on Namecheap.
God bless that guy.
Prior to that, I don’t know how to set up a blog. I’m inexperienced.
Everything you see now on this blog is me trying to perfect the blog’s appearance. I started learning all I can and I’m still learning…
Unsure and winging it
This blog, I believe, is my chance to express myself.
I’m still scared, inexperienced, naive, readers-shy.
What will happen to this blog next year or next week or well, tomorrow?
I don’t know.
This time last year, I don’t know I will have a blog. Now I have one.
Cheryl Strayed said something about ‘our life is continuous and unfolding’ like a flower, it can become fruit or it can wither.
Remember that Asha’s song, No one knows tomorrow. I didn’t know what will happen to this blog at the end, all I want to do is to improve my writing skills, and then call boys to attention.
At first, I didn’t know what to do with the blog, should I post stories like the ones I shared on the first two blog posts?
I wasn’t sure of people will like it.
Should I share my opinions and experience with boys who are in school, struggling, or fresh out of school, struggling?
I think the latter sounds appealing, I have a lot to tell my younger self who is fresh in school or fresh into the world. (Like, be serious with the advice given to you. Experiment and try again. Be specific with what you want or have to do).
So I moved towards that. And I’m still not sure.
In fact, this is what I will do: I will share stories and I write helpful posts for these young boys and see how this goes.
If I keep repeating ‘I’m not sure’ without overcoming my fears and start working, it’s possible this blog remain idle and thick cobwebs grow on it. (I hate cobwebs. So you do, too? Good). I don’t want that.
So I’m gonna put my cards down and play it to the best of my ability.
Yes, I haven’t done this before.
Yes, I don know where it will lead me.
Yes, I’m still scared of ‘what will people think of my blog posts and stories,’ which gives me a sleepless night and a lot of futile attempt at achieving perfection.
But let’s look at the brighter side of it.
After some time, I will learn to write better if I keep giving it my best.
After some time, I will understand how blogging works.
After some time, the number of blog posts will increase (say 100) and I will have at least one I can be proud of.
‘Hadeh, are you doing this to get some experience?’
If I can become a better writer, which is more important now, that’s enough for now.
‘So Hadeh, what are your future plans for the blog…’
I’m going to repeat myself one last time.
I DON’T KNOW.
Building confidence one step at a time like a baby
Babies don’t start walking a day.
My first 10 or 100 blog posts might be poor, but that won’t stop me from sharing my contents and stories with the world.
There is nothing like failure.
(Actually, there is. A graduate who can’t write 70% grammatically sound essay is a failure. A man who abandoned his children has failed. A sixteen-year old boy who can’t spell his name is… A fool.)
Redefining failure isn’t about loosing on a big deal but a chance at assessment — where have I failed, why — so that you can try again, better and with more knowledge.
It’s that thought that keeps me going, dear reader.
Celebrate small wins because it brings happiness
I look at my younger self in January 2018.
He didn’t have a blog.
He didn’t know to set it up.
He hasn’t read the Boron Letters because he thinks it will help him understand copywriting and marketing as a whole.
He hasn’t read John Sugarman’s book which is an excellent read for marketers and writers who want to write conversational posts or advertisements.
He doesn’t know James Atucher (This guy taught me to write 10 ideas every day, and other incredible ways to live).
He hasn’t shared a story on Moskedapages.com.
Now, a year later, he has done all that because he owns a blog…
Mummy, I’m proud!
To the other person reading this, it might look like nothing, a piece of cake (that’s not even delicious).
Well, you should do all the above, learn to put up a blog, read those books, share your story and see if you are the same old guy again.
I’m talking from the table of emotional and mental growth. And in your mid-twenties, it will matter a lot.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT is next around the corner, what the guy called tomorrow is going to bring.
But I know I have a little blog now.
I can get scared of what people will say. Or I can make it bigger.
It’s up to me. It’s up to you too.
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